This is Bruce Friedman of Adult Site Broker, and welcome to Adult Site Broker Talk, where each week we interview one of the movers and shakers of the adult industry, and we give you a tip on buying and selling websites. This week we'll be speaking with sex coach Cam Frazier. I'll be in Cali, Columbia for the LAL Expo April 27th through the 29th I hope to see many of you there If you'd like to sit down and discuss business contact me at Adult Site Broker.com We're proud to announce our latest project thewaronporn.com You'll find articles on age verification laws and other attacks on our industry. It's to raise awareness of our industry's plight in the war on porn. You'll find all that and more at thewaronporn.com. Now time for our properties for sale at AdultSite Broker. We have a buyer who's looking for OnlyFans agencies, chatting companies, and OnlyFans traffic sites. He owns one of the top OnlyFans agencies in the world and many of the types of companies listed above. 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And there's a highly active, organically grown Reddit community centered around the stocking and foot fetish niches. It's one of the leading spaces for adult fetish content on Reddit. For more information on any of these listings, go to our listings page or contact us at adultsitebroker.com. Now time for this week's interview. My guest today on Adult Site Broker Talk is sex coach Cam Frazier all the way from Down Under. Cam, thanks for being with us on Adult Site Broker Talk. Yeah, thanks for having me here, man. I'm excited to have a chat with you. It's exciting for me too. Cam operates a sex coaching business, which provides one-on-one coaching to men, as well as online courses for men, women, and couples. He also runs a year-long sex coaching certification program, as well as a successful podcast. He's a certified professional sex coach and certified sexologist. Being a former tantric yoga teacher, his work integrates scientifically validated, medically accurate information about sexual health. Try saying that three times. With sacred sexuality teachings from mystic traditions. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface level sex into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame. Sounds good. Cam, why did you want to become a sex coach in the first place? Well, it wasn't as if someone asked me when I was a little boy what job I wanted when I was older and I said I wanted to become a sex coach for men. What would you have said when you were a little boy, by the way? I was actually really interested in robotics. So, my answer was always, I want to build robots. And I actually went and did engineering in terms of my high school classes that I chose in preparation for going into an engineering degree at university level. But then when I did that first year of engineering subjects at university, I quickly realized that it wasn't something that I was very passionate about and it was something that I had kind of been not pushed into but like there was an assumption that I would do it because it was a good paying job and you know engineers do do well off and it set you up for a career and so I followed that path but then yeah I did one unit of psychology at university and realized that was fascinating to me and it was something that I could really sink my teeth into and something that yeah it was really interesting. Me too I always liked psychology. Yeah yeah and so that was the that was kind of the spark of like oh there's a bit of a change here in terms of where i want to go with my career so i changed degrees into psychology and i remember doing a human sexuality class as part of my psychology degree and being really fascinated by you know the psychosexual disorders and dysfunctions and then also the physical dysfunctions and you know i was a young man at the time in my late teens and early 20s and i was really struggling with my own sexual function stuff i was kind of bouncing between premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. I had a pretty unhealthy relationship with how I was consuming pornography. I tended to rely on it quite a lot. A little too much wanking, huh? It was a bit too much, yeah. And I was really concerned about performance as well, Bruce. And so, you might not know this, but I went to university over in America. So, I was an Australian as a student in America. And I don't know what it is. So, I went to two universities. One was in Georgia. So, right in the middle of Georgia, as a matter of fact. So, not Atlanta, not Savannah, but right in there. I won't drop the name of the university. They probably wouldn't like that, to be totally honest with you, but it was a religious university. Oh, yes, let's not. Baptist University. But I don't mind sharing the second one that I went to. So, I got my associate's degree, then transferred to another university, which is called Clark University, which is out in Dubuque, Iowa. And that's right on the Mississippi River up there. And it was really great to have that experience because it opened my eyes up to the type of work that I wanted to do because specifically the two years that I spent in Georgia and being interested in psychology and being interested in sexuality and doing a lot of like the readings for my own kind of personal development, personal interest, I started to realize a lot of the relationships that I was seeing around me of these young kids, young adults were unhealthy and dysfunctional and there was a lot of emotional abuse happening. There was a lot of coercion and manipulation. And there's a lot of unsafe sexual practices and a lot of really early pregnancies as well, which were unplanned. And that was not something that I wanted for myself. But at the same time, I was also dealing with a lot of performance anxiety, a lot of anxiety around my masculinity, who I was as a young man, the way I was showing up sexually in the bedroom, my sexual experiences. And there was a lot of opportunity for me to be sexual as well. I had a lot of opportunities to have sex, casual sex in particular, alcohol-fueled sex because that's what you do at college, right? And particularly as- Yeah. And as an Australian, I don't know why, but the young American women that were at college just found Australians- Oh, it's your accent, brother. Interesting and attractive. It's like Australian women, man. They knock me out with their accent. Right. And so, it's that kind of reverse thing. So, there was plenty of opportunities for me to have sex and I did I did you know I took those opportunities but a lot of the sex that I had for about four to five years was shit and it was under the influence I probably didn't have sober sex for about four years um during those you know those college times because I was using alcohol as a bit of a crutch for you know if I did ejaculate quickly or if I did lose my erection I could just blame the booze I could say well it was just it was because I was too fucked up I was just drinking too much and then the story yeah and then the story became to my mates oh yeah I pulled this chick and i was able to do this but then i had too much to drink and now i fucked up and you know and so it was something that i could do to use as a scapegoat essentially uh and so thankfully i was uh you know i was i was aware enough at that time in my um early 20s to go well this is probably not a healthy coping mechanism i'm not doing myself anything about this well yeah i was lucky enough that i had um some good support around me and i went and saw a therapist and managed to do some therapy for a couple of years around what my it was narrative therapy so it was about what what are the stories I tell myself about masculinity? How am I showing up as a man? Is this actually conducive for healthy relationships and healthy sexual experiences? Of course, it wasn't. So, I had to redo the way that I thought about what I meant to be a man, kind of come up with my own version of what I felt was authentic and genuine in terms of expressing my masculinity. And yeah, so long story short, significantly reduced the amount of drinking that I was doing, felt much more comfortable being myself and expressing my masculinity and sexuality in a way that felt good for me. And then also developed a lot of communication skills and started having much better sexual experiences because I was actually talking to the women that I was being sexual with, not just running through sexual scripts that I felt like I had to do because I was a man. And so, I had this really beautiful personal transformation in my life that came from this combination of doing therapy, like psychology work, and then also sexual practices. I learned how to move away from the kind of death grip style of masturbating where you're just kind of like trying to rip one out and you know change my relationship with pornography I still watch porn today but I have a much better relationship with it and I use it in a much different way and then learned about breathing I got into yoga you kind of read in my intro that I used to be a tantric yoga teacher and that's where I started doing that and that that taught me how to move my body taught me how to release tension taught me how to breathe properly and so all of these physical practices in conjunction with the psychological practices were really transformative for me. And that was a big light bulb that I sort of was like, well, this has helped me. How can I help other men? There was like a real passion there to share that work with other guys. So that's the long and the short of it, mate, of how I got into the work and why I wanted to do it. Great. So what made you want to work with men specifically? Yeah, so I did start when I did begin my career, I did start working with everyone, anyone and everyone. And I quickly realized that like, I don't have a clitoris. I don't have womb. I don't menstruate. I don't have sex with men. And so, all of these experiences that people were bringing to me and asking for like really specific advice around because that's what sex coaching is. It's more so about offering practical advice and guidance and skills that they can build as opposed to unpacking previous experiences and maybe trauma and history. I wasn't really able to speak to a lot of that, right? I don't have the lived experience there. And a lot of what I do in my work is based on lived experience and then observation with clients. So, quickly realized that like, you know, there's a demographic of people out there, cisgender, heterosexual, white men that need some support around this that are looking for support and are oftentimes finding quote unquote support, but I would say, you know, usually misinformation and not very helpful support from online spaces and from people that are trying to exploit them and grift them. And so, I wanted to meet those guys where they're at because I was and still am one of those guys, you know, and then offer them, you know, some actual practical guidance that's, in my estimation of things, a healthier version of sexual expression, a healthier version of masculinity, a healthier version of relationship styles. So, that was kind of it. It was kind of the realization I had of like, oh, I need to work with guys that are similar to me. So, I guess that precludes working with gay people then, huh? It doesn't necessarily preclude. I do have a couple of clients who are gay. I do have a couple of clients that are bisexual, a couple of guys that I've worked with who were questioning their sexuality. And they, through the course of working with me, came to the realization that they were bisexual. But it's just like, I'll be upfront with the clients that I work with and say to them, my area of speciality, if you will, my niche is cis het dudes. And if you're okay with that being a limitation of mine, then I'm happy to learn on the job with you, so to speak. And some guys who are gay are like, oh, thanks for letting me know. Do you have a referral for someone who might be better suited? And I most certainly do. I very much try to signal boost and refer people on to other practitioners. But then I get some guys that are like, yeah, I appreciate the candor. I kind of already knew that because I listen to your podcast and I kind of get the vibe that you're going for. And so, that doesn't matter to me. I still want to work with you. So, it's not like I try to preclude or exclude, but I just want to be as upfront as possible. Sure. Do you get a lot of business from your podcast? I do get quite a bit of business from the podcast. Yeah, I usually ask guys where they hear me from or how they found me. And the two, the most common responses I get, two most common would be my wife follows you on social media and she said I should check you out. And then the second one is I listen to your podcast and I've been a regular listener for a while and I've just had something happen and you're the person who I thought I should reach out to. Isn't that so gratifying when somebody says that I listen to you all the time? I love that. It is lovely, man. I sometimes forget that people listen to the podcast because I just have these conversations for me, really. And then it's really humbling to know that people are tuning in and getting something of value from it. Yeah. No, to me, that's the most gratifying. I did a little bit of a campaign to get some Trustpilot reviews. And I asked a lot of my people from the podcast, which you'll get asked to in the survey form. And, oh, God, so gratifying. And we have testimonials on our website as well that we send out a form afterwards about social media. And if you have anything nice you want to say about us, nothing mean, feel free to. So, yeah, I think that's the most gratifying thing of everything I do, really. I mean, it's gratifying to put people together and have successful sales. but it's also extremely gratifying when people listen to you, like your work, and get something out of it. So, it means that all this effort is in front of us. So, that's good. And speaking of effort, mate, how does your podcast fit into your business? Well, I mean, it's adult site broker talk. So, you know, I mean, it very much does. And I get clients, quite a few clients from the podcast of people who listen and they go, oh, you really You seem to know your stuff. And I go, well, I think so. So, anyway, that's kind of how it all comes together. It was devised as a promotional vehicle and also for this old radio guy to have a creative outlet. Yeah, I feel that as well. I definitely find that there's a creative project there that feels interesting and fun to me as well. I don't have a lot of creative outlets in my life. the social media content creation side of things and then additionally the podcast side of things are my creative projects. So yeah, I feel that as well. Yeah, I feel exactly the same way. So what are the most common concerns men seek coaching for? My selection bias, which is the clients that come and see me, the most common concerns typically are struggling with ejaculating too quickly, struggling with getting and maintaining an erection. and then some other ones underneath that is struggling to ejaculate or to orgasm so delayed ejaculation or delayed orgasm mismatched libido in a relationship so having a partner who either doesn't want as much sex as he does or having a partner who wants much more sex than he does yeah and struggling to navigate that and that's about a 50 50 oftentimes there's a stereotype that men are the ones that want more sex than their partners but you know very often it's it's the other way around as well so that's about 50 50 with the guys that i work with um and then there's kind of miscellaneous issues as well that guys come to me with but another intention that some guys have with regards to coaching is not necessarily because there's anything wrong and there's no concern that they're particularly interested in solving but they want to go further they kind of they've listened to me talk they've you know watched an episode of the podcast where i've talked about you know multiple orgasms non-ejaculatory orgasms where i'm speaking about breathing and moving your body and experiencing you know heightened states of pleasure with a partner and they kind of go, hey, sex is pretty good between me and my partner, but we want to go further. We want to know what else there is to explore. Like, can you show us where to go from here? And so, I get like guys that come to me from a sense of desperation of like something's wrong. This is something I've struggled with my whole life. I don't know how to solve this problem. And then I get some guys that come to me for a sense of inspiration and they're like, hey, I want to go somewhere from here. Where can we go? Show me what else there is available. Do you get a lot of clients who have multiple partners? I don't. And again, one of the reasons why is because it's not necessarily an area of speciality for me. I don't have any lived experience navigating multiple partners. Well, you did. I did. Multiple casual partners, I suppose. But I guess, okay, yeah. So, if someone's interested in open relationships and polyamory, I'll usually refer them on to someone who's much more well equipped and much more well established in that space, which is fine. I don't have anything else. It's just not something that I'm not able to support with. But with regards to multiple casual partners yeah definitely have a lot of guys who are single and are exploring sexuality a couple of young girl guys that i work with here in australia at least i work with a couple of athletes and so they do have quite a lot of sexual partners yeah and so there's there's a variety of different experiences i work with guys who are also on the other end of the spectrum uh like completely celibate i've worked with guys that are in their late 60s and early 70s they don't have a sexual partner and they've worked with one guy who never had a sexual partner he's been celibate his whole life and that's for religious reasons and um and yes i'm open to to where a guy is at i want to be able to meet them there and still offer them some some some sort of support or guidance around exploring their pleasure and their sexuality and their eroticism that brings up a question what's your take on this whole incel thing my take on it don't i mate this is a huge uh rabbit hole that we could go down so here's my you know two cents worth if i could sum it up is like i think there is a community of men online who have had difficulties with engaging with women, engaging with people they're attracted to. And rather than finding healthy ways to navigate the rejection and to find solutions or find advice and guidance, what they've been sold by certain people online is in certain ideologies is that no this is your lot in life and you are never going to find someone and you are destined to be this way because of your facial structure because of your genes but you know it's very reductionist in um in that sense and so they have fallen into that despair that nihilistic kind of mentality and that self-loathing and then they've been kind of cast aside after that the term incel is very often used as a pejorative right in kind of layman's terms. It's used as a bit of an insult. If you say something about men's issues, you just must be an incel. And I think legitimate incels, I think these guys online see that and go, well, this is just confirmation that no one's here to support me, that this is my lot in life, that men are the true victims in society. And so, I think there's a real necessity for us to reach out to communities of men online who are feeling disenfranchised and disengaged and feeling lonely and isolated and offer an olive branch and offer a way to support them. And that's kind of some of the work that I'm trying to do. Within the coaching certification that I have, I actually have a specific five-day part of the training where I invite folks from those communities. So, I've got a guy who I found from an in-cell forum, come and speak to my students. I've got some other guys from Pickup Artist forums and things like that, come and speak to the students as a way to get them to hear firsthand from these guys about the issues that they're dealing with and the reasons why they're in these spaces and how to better of support them and reach out to these communities without reaffirming their kind of worldviews because that's not what we want to do because I don't agree with the worldviews. But I think it's important that we find a bridge there so that we can engage with them. Absolutely. Look, let's face it, especially for young people, there's a lot of things online that are so negative that even go as far as to get people to commit suicide. And I think that, well, I mean, I don't know much what you could do about it, but it's terrible. It's really terrible, especially for kids now. There's a, I don't know if you know what's happening here in Australia, but there's a social media delay that's being enacted and that's coming out in December. And so kids under the age of 16, yeah, won't be able to access it. And that's got implications for identity verification for adults and things like that as well. But yeah, like there's, people are recognizing that there's been an issue for a little while and, you know, government's stepping in and trying to rectify it, but so are some other organizations. So I think there'll be some changes coming up, but I'm not sure how effective it's going to be. But it shouldn't have to be the government. It should be the parents. Okay, if somebody's under 18, their parents are the ones who should be watching what they're doing online and keeping them off social media, I think, because I don't think social media is very positive for kids. No, I agree with you, mate. And look, I feel the same way when it comes to sexuality education. I don't think it should necessarily have to be a school's responsibility or for it to be mandated in the nationwide curriculum. I think parents are best placed to be able to deliver good quality sexuality education to their young people. Depends on the parents. That's exactly my response to you, mate, about letting them on social media is that, yes, the parents are well-placed to be able to do that and they should be stepping in. And of course, it depends on the parents, right? So, I think there has to be both a systemic change and also a parental individual familial change as well. Yeah, and it shouldn't have to be the nanny state because our industry, the online adult industry is under a barrage of age verification laws that are really set out to ruin our industry not to keep kids off of porn. And if you look at the reasons for them, and one of Trump's cronies was caught on hidden camera admitting it. I don't know if you saw that interview. I did, yeah. And look, we've just had a really, what I would argue is a well-balanced investigation into like the quote-unquote impacts, the harmful impacts of online pornography from the New South Wales government that just got released literally last week, which was they did a great job of inviting stakeholders that typically don't get invited to these types of investigations. and reviews, such as sex workers, such as people that produce pornography, such as sexuality educators. Oh, I'd love to see that. I will send it to you, mate. It's actually just been released and there's some really great stuff in there about how porn isn't inherently harmful, essentially, and that it's about how it's used and how it's accessed. Too much of anything, as you found out, is bad. Too much of anything. Yeah, it's tough, man. I can't solve all the world's problems here on this podcast with you, But I think, yeah, there is, of course, ongoing conversations. And the UK particularly is leading the charge with regards to identity verification and stuff like that on adult websites. And I think Australia is probably pretty close behind, unfortunately. The way they're doing it is quite questionable. Yeah. I mean, a lot of the interventions are quite questionable. Oh, I mean, they're going after all the big porn companies and doing investigations and slapping fines. and come on, that's sorry, it's not the way to do it. And again, it comes back to it should be the parent's responsibility and the way to police kids on things that they shouldn't see should be parental controls and it should be done at the device level. Yeah, and I'm an advocate for like pornography literacy as well. When I go and do sessions with young people, I'll say to them, look, I'm not here to get up and tell you not to watch porn or to shame you for watching porn. And I say to them, in the same way that I want you to be critical of messages you're getting about relationships and masculinity and femininity from TV shows like Married at First Sight or social media influencers like Andrew Tate or podcasts like the Fresh and Fit podcast, I want you to be as critical about them as you are about the messages you're getting from online pornography and sexually explicit material that you might be watching. And so, that's a better approach in terms of like getting kids to think a bit more critically. Developing the media literacy is really important. And so, that porn literacy approach is much more my speed rather than coming in with a censorship or coming in with like an absolutist. This is not what you should be doing and you're a bad person for doing it, which is what I've heard from some of my colleagues. Oh, my God. Yes. Share a success story or two from your clients. Yeah. I had a guy who was – I mentioned him before. You know, he's – for religious purposes, he's in his 60s and he hasn't had a sexual partner. and he was listening to my podcast pretty regularly. He reached out to me and he said, I kind of masturbate and I don't have any necessarily religious hang-ups about masturbating. I kind of enjoy it and I see that it's okay for me, but I don't really know where to go from here. I'm not going to ever have a partner. It's not something that I am going to be doing, so I'm not really sure how else I can explore my sexuality. And so, over the course of, we worked together for about 18 months. Over the course of that time, we developed a lot of self-pleasure practices that were tailored uniquely to what he was interested in. He lived in a very cold climate, so we found ways of doing a warm oil self-pleasure practice that incorporated massaging his old body with some coconut oil that he'd warmed up. We found different ways of using erotic audio was something that he found was really titillating and arousing for him. Yeah, rather than watching something visual, he said that didn't really do it for him, so we explored with different types of audio. We found ways of incorporating prostate stimulation in and he bought a couple of products that were able to stimulate his prostate. During the time that I worked with him, he also lost a lot of weight. So, he was much more able to move his body throughout those latter months that were working together. And that felt like a newfound sense of eroticism in his body because he was able to move it. And that was just like a really beautiful example, I suppose, of how when there is what we consider a pretty huge limitation for someone with regards to expressing a sexuality, never having a partner and never going to have a partner, or finding ways to explore that solo. And really valuing that as part of your self-care and as part of your healthy kind of psychosexual development at that age. Like I think there was so much that I saw in him that really validated the necessity of this work throughout the lifespan, right? And particularly connecting to yourself. And he hadn't had a partner at that age? Had never had a partner, again, for religious reasons and never planned on having a partner for religious reasons. Yeah. And he got so much from exploring his own body and feeling tapped into his pleasure. And he was talking to me about it, but he also had other people that he ended up going to a men's group and he was able to talk to some men about it. And so, I think that is a testament to the fact that even if you – speaking back to these incels, Bruce, even if you don't have this partner and you don't have any options of having a partner, there's still so much value in exploring your own eroticism for you. Sure. Absolutely. What's been your biggest business-related challenge so far? Probably navigating social media, to be totally honest with you. The censorship and the banning of several of my accounts has been a real pain. Join the club. Yeah, I can only imagine, mate. And I'm on the fringes of the sex work industry. I'm kind of sex work adjacent. So, I don't deal with as much censorship issues as some of my colleagues who are either in the sex work space, online content creators or full service. And so, I feel for them. I had a TikTok account that was getting up to about 200,000 followers, which was just overnight gone, which was a huge source of promotion. You know what caused it? For my 200th episode, and I've had all my snippets from the previous episodes on TikTok. For my 200th episode, I interviewed Cherie DeVille, the porn star, and I had my guy write porn star, and that got us banned. So, very similar, mate. My account got banned because I was promoting one of my online courses, which is called Outperformer Pornstar. And the word porn in the same way, yes, got permanently banned. Yeah, no chance of getting the account back. I know. And so, similarly, like Instagram, I've had some issues with that. I've had my YouTube account deleted three times. I have two strikes. Yeah, and they gave me two strikes. And then I didn't even get a third strike. They just said, no, we're cutting your account. And similarly, because I was posting podcast clips on there as well. And I posted a podcast with someone named Jaya and her erotic blueprints. And they pings me for the URL because they flagged her URL as linking to a porn site. That's what my two strikes are for. I had to stop putting URLs of anything adult related in the description. Yeah. So, it sounds like we've had similar difficulties there, right? And so, that's the biggest challenge. And we're not alone, man. And we could fill a stadium of people in the adult industry who have had problems with TikTok and Instagram. Yes. And Facebook. Yep. And so, that's been the major challenge, to be honest with you, mate. Like, if I can get the word out there that I'm very able to, you know, create business and have clients and generate an income, the problem is getting the word out there. So, I've contemplated having a friend of mine actually who does similar work to me has an account on Pornhub, for example. And he posts not necessarily sexually explicit videos on Pornhub, but like instructional videos with props and things like that. And that's where he gets his clients from because he's much more able to be open about what it is that he does. And he's like, well, where are a lot of men that need help going to? Probably to pornography websites. You should consider it, man. I mean, they've got Pornhub premium. Yes. And I have to be mindful of some other hats that I wear in my other lives. And so, yeah, if it was to get out, unfortunately, with the way things are that I had a Pornhub account, then it might not sit well with some other stakeholders in my life, you know. Got to understand. By the way, have you coached any porn actors and actresses? No mainstream ones, but I've worked with some people that do like OnlyFans content, for example. And so, yeah, and I have. And I found that one of the things that was difficult for one of the guys that I was working with was getting out of his head when he was engaging in sex off screen, right? he found that he was really carrying over that performance idea into sex with his partner in, you know, I suppose, and holding that tension with like, but then I've got to turn that performance piece on again when I go and have sex for work. And so, there was a, yeah, there's a difficulty there he had with navigating that. And it wasn't anxiety per se, but it was just about mentality. Sure. I would imagine. I mean, it's kind of like somebody's an NFL player and their job is violence. And then off the field, turning that off, which a lot of guys can't do. Yeah. And they go home and maybe have a bit of a domestic. Yeah. Yeah. To shift that mentality or compartmentalize it. Sure. What's been your biggest personal challenge operating your business? Was it what you were just alluding to? Yeah. I think the biggest personal challenge is the different hats that I wear, different roles that I have within various sectors. And so, I've had difficulty both at a professional level compartmentalizing or separating these different roles, but also there like personally having people make assumptions about the work that I do or, you know, I've had some people, even members of parliament here in Australia, find out that I was presenting at a, so I presented at a porn event. It's a porn posium event, which is about the impact of porn on young people. And we had some young people there on the panel who were talking about how porn isn't actually that bad, but we just need more porn literacy education. And so, I was there as a bit of a keynote speaker. And that event kind of got picked up by, not mainstream necessarily, but like your anti-porn crusader. Oh, even worse. Yeah, exactly. And so, they posted online about how I am a pervert and a pedophile and a porn peddler. Oh, yes. We're all that. Yes, all of us. Yeah, exactly. And that was personally challenging for me because I have a son. I have a wife. My wife has social media. She has her own business. And I was concerned. And we made a pact as parents not to post our son online. So, I wasn't too concerned about them finding out any pictures or any information about him. But more so, I was like, my wife has got an autoimmune condition. She's pretty sensitive at the best of times. And if there was something that impacted her and then started to affect her reputation, her business, then she would probably struggle with it. And so, that was like a personal challenge for me. It was like, well, these fucking people are coming up with this story and this allegation and this narrative online. And yeah, so, thankfully, we could shut it down and we ended up having a good event at the end of the day and had some security there. But nothing kicked off. It was just like a signifier of like what potentially could happen and the risks of doing this work, I suppose. So, why did you create a sex coaching certification course? You're creating competition for yourself. Yeah, kind of, mate. But, you know, there's enough work to go around, I suppose. And one of the things that I'm really passionate about is, as you said in my intro, kind of trying to bridge the gap between sexological, academic, Western medicine type approaches to sexuality. and the more energetic, esoteric, spiritual, mystical approach to sexuality. And there's kind of these two approaches. Mikhail Foucault talks about this in some of his work about scientia sexualis and arzorodica being these two approaches from the east and the west to sexuality. And I think there's such a beautiful opportunity for those two places to overlap. But of course, the Western medicine space doesn't want anything to do with like the tantra sacral sexuality community. And very often the tantra, sacred sexuality community shuns any type of conversation around Western medical perspectives and things like that. There's a distrust of the establishment in those spaces very commonly. So, I try to bridge that gap in my work. And because of that, I've had some really good feedback from other practitioners who have said, we really like this approach. We love learning about this. I get counselors and psychotherapists talk to me about the somatic and esoteric side of things, the spiritual tantra side of things. And then I get some sacred sexuality practitioners, some tantrikas, some dakinis who talk to me about the Western medicine point of view and the sexological approach. And so, I thought, well, if I'm already doing one-on-one supervision calls or consultations with practitioners, maybe there's scope here for me to build out a proper certification that has everything that I want to do in depth, right? Because I can only do so much on social media and in one-on-one conversations. So, I wanted to put everything that I could find and everything that I kind of knew and I thought was interesting and informative and important into this 12-month certification. And it's specifically for working with male clients as well. So, I really niche down into here's how you can best support men. And that's why, as I said to you before, there's a portion of that training which includes hearing from an incel, hearing from a pick-up artist, hearing from a men's rights activist about the ways that we can build bridges and reach these communities and work with these types of men because they need support, right? And they need advice and guidance. And so, that's what I wanted to be able to create. It's obvious that you did it because you're passionate about what you do. Oh, totally, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's very obvious. I can hear it in your voice. I appreciate that. Do you have any advice for aspiring sex coaches? Yeah, I guess my advice would be to determine who it is you want to work with, right? As I said to you before, I tried to work with everyone and quickly realized that I'm not being of service to folks who either didn't fit the specific niche that I was interested in or didn't fit the people whose experience I resonated with. And so, it's not to say that you have to use the same barometer of the sabrometer that I use in terms of working with clients, but I'd be encouraging finding a specific avatar or a niche of people that you want to work with. And it could be, I want to work with queer men specifically, or I want to work with couples that are interested in opening up their relationship and exploring open relationship styles and polyamory. Or it could be, I want to work with people specifically who are struggling with premature ejaculation. And so, I want to help them. But I think finding that avatar or that brand hero, that person who represents your target audience and then sticking to that is super helpful in terms of working with clients, firstly, because you're not working with a huge wide range. You can kind of narrow that down. It makes your life a bit easier there, but also makes your life easier with regards to social media content creation and promotion and things like that. You get to know, okay, these are the people that I'm speaking to. This is the audience that I'm trying to create. And these are the people that I want to engage in my stuff. And rather than trying to hit a variety of different targets, you can go, okay, this is an easier person to create content for, I suppose. What's next for your business or your career? I think the next step, mate, is going to be hiring some of my graduate students to create a bit of a coaching clinic or firm, if you will. I can't work with everyone that reaches out to me, and so I'm already doing a lot of referrals. It's a nice position to be in. Yeah, it is. It feels good to be able to have an influx of people that are interested in working with me. I've kept my prices pretty reasonable and steady for the last five years and I don't really want to increase my prices. I could probably get away with it, but it doesn't feel in integrity for me to do that. Rather than doing that, I want to make sure that I can bring on a couple of trusted graduate students who approach the work in the same way that I do and that if I refer or if I have one of the people that's reached out to me, go and work with one of them, I know that that person who's come to see me specifically because of the work that I do is going to get a similar approach because of the fact that I'm working very closely with maybe a team of two or three coaches who work in the same clinic as I do. So, that's kind of where I'm thinking about going. And that'd be a virtual clinic because it's not brick and mortar anymore. It's all online, you know? Yeah, of course, of course. What legacy would you like to leave behind? I mean, I would love for my professional and personal legacy to be recognized as someone who championed healthy male sexuality, healthy masculinity, and really encouraged men and the people that sleep with men, the people that love men, to celebrate and explore eroticism and the arousal and the pleasure that is available to men. I really believe that the limitations that men are putting on their expression of sexuality and their expression of arousal and eroticism and pleasure is limiting their relationships with themselves, limiting their relationships with their partners, and creating some pretty systemic issues around the way that masculinity is thought about in culture. You mentioned Andrew Tate. Yeah, and he said some dumb shit about having sex for pleasure is gay. Every time he opens his mouth, he says stupid shit. Yeah, exactly. But that rhetoric about pleasure being bad or pleasure being not for real men is reinforcing this idea that masculinity is a certain way. And the way he talks about women, my God. Yeah, yeah. And so, if I can leave a legacy of giving men permission to be a bit more open, vulnerable, sensual, erotic, then I'd be happy with that. That's awesome. What do you consider your personal brand? My personal brand is probably what I was talking to you about before with regards to the certification. It's someone who is deeply passionate about the intersection of masculinity and sexuality, both from a scientific point of view, but also from a spiritual point of view and trying to find the common ground between those places, recognizing that there are questions that I have answers to and that I can be open to the mysticism of that. And then also, that's really important that we base what it is that we're teaching on what the research tells us and making sure that we're paying attention to the people who are espousing misinformation and disinformation. Like, I've got a bit of a debunker in my personal brand, I think, someone who calls out other creators and does a bit of fact-checking. And I think that's a part of it. But yeah, I really want to try and have my personal brand be someone who can bridge that divide a little bit and offer some really grounded, practical information. Well, misinformation seems to be the brand of most politicians these days. So, we get a lot of it. Just look at the moron that's running America. Yeah. So, there's – people are incentivized to disinform and misinform because that's what the algorithm rewards, unfortunately. Yep. Yep. Unfortunately. Yeah, that opens up a lot of issues with social media that we certainly don't have time to get into. No. There are lots of people offering different types of coaching these days. I've always been kind of curious about that. You're this type of coach, you're that type of coach, you're a business coach, you're a relationship coach, you're that coach, you're another coach. Do you have any critiques of the coaching industry? I know I do. Oh, man. Yes, I do. One of my major critiques, I suppose, if I can limit it to one, is the fact that the coaching industry is unregulated. And what I want to be careful with here is like, I don't necessarily think that no regulation is inherently a bad thing. I kind of sometimes equate sex coaching and the sexuality industry to psychedelic and psychedelic industry, right? the clandestine nature of like psychedelic therapy and people using plant medicine can be incredible and can like can it can lead to some really interesting innovative ways of working with psychedelics and plant medicine you know i know that i have had some opportunities to do that and it's been a big part of like my own journey and the regulations that don't exist in that psychedelic space the clandestine nature of it has allowed it to become that and also the lack of regulations and the lack of oversight over those modalities, if you'll call them that, has also created a huge risk and traumatized people, re-traumatized people as well. And so, the sexuality coaching space or the coaching space in general is similar to that in my sense. There is such an interesting and innovative practice that comes out of an unregulated sex coaching industry. You can do some really cool, interesting stuff. And also, there's a huge risk for people being re-traumatized for armchair philosophers coming in. They've read one book. Now, all of a sudden, they're a coach and hurting people, right, and causing more harm. So, one of the reasons why I wanted to put this coaching certification together is so that I could get people who are interested in doing things with integrity and doing things properly to come and get educated. And I've had feedback from students saying that the certification is like the equivalent amount of work to a university degree because I do make them go through the gauntlet of learning and studying and showing up to calls and submitting assignments and completing forum posts and things like that. Because I think that's necessary because I think there's too many people that are reading about something online, watching a couple of YouTube videos and then jumping into the coaching industry thinking they've got all the answers for people and selling themselves that way that I can work with anyone that doesn't matter what issue you have. As long as you do this practice, you'll overcome that issue. People aren't cookie cutters. People aren't the same. Having this one size universal fits all approach doesn't work for people. I don't like the way that some coaches advertise themselves as well because I think that they're grifting folks, unfortunately. Well, there's a lot of grifting going on, especially on the internet and especially among politicians, but we won't even get into that. So, how can someone reach out to you and tell us briefly about your podcast and how they can find that? Yeah. So, my podcast is called Men, Sex, and Pleasure, and that is available on all your podcasting platforms. I've just started doing video podcasts now, so you can see my lovely blurred face and see the lovely guests that I'm speaking with. The other way you can get in touch with me is via social media. So, I'm usually on Instagram and TikTok and that's at the Cam Fraser. And for my American listeners, my last name is spelled F-R-A-S-E-R. Very often, my American listeners put an I in my name. Not the Fraser on TV. Exactly. Yes. And then the other way is via my website, which is cam-fraser.com. And that's got all of my information about the podcast, social media, but also the courses that I have, the certification, other ways of working with me. And yeah, my email address is pretty readily available online. So, people can send me an email. I'm more than happy to field questions. And I always offer to prospective clients a free 30-minute call so we can touch base. I can give you some advice. And what is that? So, that 30-minute call is just like a taster of coaching. No, I'm talking about the email. Oh, the email. Sorry, mate. Yeah, it's cam at cam-fraser.com. Hey, as a broker, I need to get to camfraser.com. We're going to work on that right away. Sure. Yeah. Thanks, mate. Cam, I'd like to thank you for being with us today on Adult Site Broker Talk, and I hope we'll get a chance to do this again soon. Appreciate you, man. Thank you. My broker tip today is part three of how to buy a site. Last week, we talked about finding the right site to buy. Once you find it, what do you do? Once you've either reached the broker of the site or the seller, review the information about it. The broker should provide you with the following. A profit and loss statement of at least three years that's up to date. If it's June and they give you financials only through the end of the previous year, you need to see what the site is doing now, not last year. If it's a pay site, get a username and password for the site so that you can review the content. Ask how often the site is updated. Get some history on the site. How long has been in business, the story behind the site, and why the seller wants to sell. Get an inventory of the content and how much of it has current technologies. Find out if all the content is exclusive to that site. Ask the seller if the content has ever been on VOD or DVD. See if there are any clip stores the content is on. Find out how much the content costs to produce and what the current cost of production is. Very importantly, see if this operation can run without the owner. Do they do the shooting themselves, or do they hire someone to do it? And if there's an outside producer, will that person continue to provide content for the site? Find out how many new joins and rebuilds there are a day. Ask them what's the retention rate on the site. And find out if they do advertising on the site and where they get their traffic. Ask for Google Analytics access so you can see where the traffic comes from. This information will give you the opportunity to truly evaluate what it is you're buying. Then if everything looks good to you and you want the site, it's time to make an offer. Only you can decide what the site is worth to you. If you're working with a broker, say, oh, I don't know, adult site broker, of course your broker can help you determine the value of the site. We'll talk about this subject more next week. And next week, we'll be speaking with Alan Michael Price of Thumper Gummies. And that's it for this week's Adult Site Broker Talk. I'd once again like to thank my guest, sex coach Cam Frazier. Talk to you again next week on Adult Site Broker Talk. I'm Bruce Friedman.
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