Adult Site Broker Talk – Episode 196 with Erik Everhard of Everhard Academy

This is Bruce Friedman of Adult Site Broker and welcome to Adult Site Broker Talk where each week we interview one of the movers and shakers of the adult industry and we give you a tip on buying and selling websites. This week we’ll be speaking with author and men’s coach Erik Everhard. Would you like an easy way to make a lot of money? Send sellers or buyers to us at Adult Site Broker through our affiliate program, ASB Cash. When you refer business to us, you’ll receive 20% of our broker commission on all sales that result from that referral for life. You can make $100,000 or more on only one sale for some of our listings. Check out ASB Cash.com for more details and to sign up. At Adult Site Broker, we’re proud to announce our latest project, thewaronporn.com. You’ll find articles from industry websites as well as mainstream publications from around the world. It’s designed to raise awareness of our industry’s plight in the war on porn and the numerous attacks on our industry and online free speech by hate groups, the religious right, and politicians. You’ll find all that and more at thewaronporn.com. We’ve also added an events section to our website at adultsidebroker.com. Now you can get information on B2B events on our site as well as special discounts reserved for our clients. Go to adultsidebroker.com for more details. Now let’s feature our property the week that’s for sale at Adult Site Broker. We’re proud to offer for sale an innovative marketing agency that specializes in managing the top .01% only fans profiles in the world. It’s just under a year old but is growing very rapidly. They fully manage creators workflow from promotion to monetization. They’ve developed an internal CRM that empowers the sales management, marketing, automation and analytics. This is one of the most relevant advantages of the agency that allows it to drive in-target traffic to profiles and monetize them. The company is already doing over 2 million euros in annual revenue from just over 20 creators. They have a database of over 1 million contacts and 600,000 unique user accounts. This is an outstanding opportunity for anyone to enter the world of only fans management and immediately become one of the top agencies in the world along with its software, processes and know-how which will allow you to bring models up to three times their initial gross monthly revenue. Or established agencies can acquire the company and expand their business. Only 2.59 million euros. Now time for this week’s interview. My guest today on Adult Site Broker Talk is Eric Everhard. Eric thanks for being with us today on Adult Site Broker Talk. Hey man, thanks for having me on. It’s a pleasure. Now Eric is an author, a men’s coach and he’s a former adult film star who specializes in teaching men to recognize and master the primary cues responsible for making 85% of women reach the holy grail of sexual interactions or gasm. His teachings are grounded in practical knowledge, mental tactics and strategic positions, holding a master’s level certification in neurolinguistic programming and having more than 5,000 real world sexual interactions with women allows him a unique perspective which enables his clients to overcome their limiting beliefs and performance issues and become masters in the bedroom. In fact, before we went on I had to look up and see what Will Chamberlain had claimed. He had done and he said he had been with 20,000 women so I’m like, "Either way, 5,000, 20,000, that’s a lot." Yeah, 20,000, I’m just going to call bullshit on those numbers. Yeah, I think everybody did. I’ve had this as a full-time job, Bruce, so I don’t know how he was getting those numbers four times mine and playing basketball full-time. Yeah, I know. It would be like a full-time job for like what, 50 years or something. That’s pretty funny. Pretty much. So you made a switch from being a porn actor into coaching men to be better lovers. What made you do that? Well, you know, it was a process and it really was changing in perspective in my life. Started in about 2008. That was when I met a very dear friend of mine. He was a relationship coach and I took a workshop of his. He was a Bulgarian guy. And in that workshop, first it was really eye-opening for me and then I heard about this thing called NLP, NeuroLinguistic Programming. And I thought, "Okay, this is interesting." And it’s basically using a lot of language pattern models to reframe your perspective on life, your perspective on your own reality, and to really change your life. And so I heard about this and I thought, "Well, that’s kind of interesting." So I said, "Well, where’s the best school?" And they said, "Well, the one that we find is the best in America is in Northern California." So I started traveling up to Marin County almost every month for about three years. Sweet. I’m from the base. Okay. Okay. See where Novato is. Oh, of course. Yeah, that’s where the school is. Not far from the good wine. Yeah. So I was traveling there pretty much every month for three years and really unpacking things about myself. So it was one of the most, I guess you could say, healing and holistic journeys that I ever went on because I was confronting my own fears. I was peeling back the layers of the onion, so to speak, on myself. And after the three years was done, I couldn’t really recognize myself anymore. So I’d become disillusioned with porno, but I had no idea what was next. So it really started for me, which was almost like the lost decade. And it was this search for, "Okay, what’s my purpose? What am I here to do? And what’s next?" Interesting. You said you were like, it caused you to look at yourself. What did you find out about yourself? Well, for me, right? I understood. I had a lot of anger issues. I had specific traumas. I had a lot of fears, stuff in my family that I hadn’t worked on. And even in the sense of I didn’t necessarily believe in myself or trust myself on certain issues in my life. So when it was all said and done, I was almost like a new person, so to speak, right? And that’s why I was suddenly on this search for purpose and this sense of, "Okay, what is next in my life?" And that search was ongoing for years. And that led me to then next working with shamanic plant medicines. So I started doing some work with ayahuasca. I did a number of spiritual journeys with that. And that was actually how I ended up in Czech Republic where I’m at now. Oh, very cool. So you said you’ve treated your career as a porn actor like that of a pro athlete. What do you mean by that? Well, in the sense of I was always exceptionally professional and I always set myself up for success. And these are tenants that I teach my clients because here’s the thing. You need to start thinking of your body and your sexuality through that athlete’s lens. Because a lot of times where people’s mental mindset will collapse almost and they’ll start creating anxiety or creating situations where they can’t perform as good as they would want to, which then starts to create other problems in their life. Because obviously the more you can stack wins, the better you start to feel about yourself. As soon as you have one or two losses, sometimes that starts a cascading effect for men where now they’re worried. They said, "Oh, hey, I didn’t get it up this time. Always going to be like, ’What happened last time?’" And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because they’re like, they have fear and they’re now future pacing what’s going to happen rather than being in the moment and realizing they have agency right now and they have a lot of different things that they can do. So with me, I always approached it with that athletic mindset. So to give you some examples, if I was going to set the next day, I was not having sex the day before. I certainly would not come the day before. I would not go out and party. I wasn’t drinking. I did drugs. I always made sure I went to sleep on time because these were all things that were in my control. Well, that’s what an athlete does, hopefully. In athletics, sleep has become known to be more and more and more important. Yeah. But when you’re talking about the nth degree of sexual performance, it is essentially what I noticed with a lot of my contemporaries was, first of all, they wouldn’t take any of those things into account. You know, it was like, okay, we’re going to go party. There’s chicks. There’s drugs. Woohoo. Let’s go, right? Exactly. And they would show up and they would do poorly beside me. And you could see the look on their face of like, oh my God, because the one thing that everybody knew was I was always ready. If you were going to work beside me, you knew I was going to be ready. And I know for some guys that would put some fear in them, but it wasn’t that I was doing something malicious. I was just taking it from an athletic perspective. It’s like, I’m here. I’m here to do a job, right? So I think there’s a lot that you can learn from that, especially for the general public, because I’ve seen it, you know, a lot of guys that I coach, they’ll do a lot of things that don’t set themselves up for success. You know, they want to have a bunch of drinks because they feel they need liquid courage. Well, even a couple drinks and now your performance is going down rapidly. Your ability to get an erection goes down rapidly. I’ve seen it where some of the strategies men will use are flawed. I teach a lot of guys on how to last longer in the bedroom. And one thing that I’ve seen that some guys will do is they think, okay, I can’t last long enough. So rather than dealing with that issue, they think, well, I’ll just come twice. So I’ll get the first one out within 30 seconds and then I can go for round two, except when you can’t get it up for round two. And they’re not thinking about this beforehand that once you’ve done a come shot, your abilities drastically are reduced. So now you’ve set yourself up for failure because of what you did. Whereas if you rather than letting that thing go early, if you utilize the dirty bio hacks that I talk about, if you utilize strategy, if you utilize specific positions to get to what I talk about in all my trainings, which is the five minute marker, if you use these things to get to the five minute marker, well, now you’re going to have a massively better experience because you’re going to be feeling all the sensations, probably be hard as a rock, and you’re going to have more fun because now you’ve got this heightened sensation, but you’re able to ride it for the whole 20, 30, 40 minutes. What’s better than that? I can’t think of anything. Eric, are most of your clients aspiring porn actors or are they just regular guys? And how do you coach the two groups differently? Most of the guys that I deal with are actually regular guys. Now to talk about the latter first, there have been, especially the last, I’d say five years once I really went into coaching, there would be a number of porn actors that would ask me questions, especially after my first book came out. And a lot of it, because especially in Europe, there’s a, I’m just going to call it what it is, it’s a mental pandemic. We’re going to use that as a term, whereas you’d be hard pressed to find a single actor, and maybe it’s become this way in America. I can see it going that way for sure. But in Europe here, they’re all injecting. Every single guy is on the needle. And I look at them, I’m like, what are you doing? And when I’ll talk to them, they have no belief in themselves and they have no confidence that they could do it any other way. So when I’ll talk to them, I talk to them about my mental process and how I separate the erection into two just about maneuvers of consciousness. And I talk about the ability to focus and I talk about all these things. And you can see like certain concepts landing, like they had never thought about them. I’m like, well, you’ve never thought about them because you’ve never had to come up with a solution. Your solution was okay, I’m going to just inject this into my penis and it’s going to be rock hard for 12 hours. And I’m going to have no feeling and I’m going to have no connection to understanding my fear, to understanding my anxiety, to dealing with these things in real life. Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly do they inject? I’ve heard about it, but I haven’t. I don’t even know what it is specifically. They inject their penis itself. Yeah, but that shows you, and this is what I mean, like I think the bigger problem, because I’ve noticed how this is ramped up in the last years, right? And when I started the business in the 90s, none of that stuff existed. There was no Viagra. There was nothing. Oh yeah. I mean, that came around in the 2000s for sure. Yeah. It was about 2003 when it started coming into the into the business. And you know, back then it was a very binary existence. You could do the job or you couldn’t and you had to figure it out. And fundamentally, acting is a mental process. It is 95% mental. It you know, because we are all champions when the lights off, generally speaking, when the lights off and there’s no camera in the room. At least in our own minds. Yeah, but I’ll tell them I say, well, what is different? The process itself that you’re going to go through is not different. The only thing that is different is that you’ve collapsed your concept of an erection into one singular type. And when you realize there are two, well, now you’ve got agency because the first pathway is not going to be working on a point set hardly ever. But the second pathway is always available to you. Hey, Eric, has there been success with your process for ED? Oh yeah. Because you know, if we look at ED, over 40% of ED is psychogenic. So in terms of erectile dysfunction, unless there is a medical condition, it’s all psychological. Yeah, you could have prostate cancer, you could have diabetes, you could have something that’s fundamentally damaged the veins and the arteries, right? But if that’s not the case, now we’re just, it’s purely psychogenic. And it’s really fear and it’s lack of belief. And it’s not understanding how can we put ourselves in a positive feedback loop. There’s a famous, famous scene that I use as a teaching instrument for my clients. And it, maybe even you heard of this. It was in the mid-2000s where I did a sex scene at the town square in Budapest at high noon with police across the street. And no drugs, nothing. And nobody could believe at the time that I pulled it off, except that it was obviously committed to tape and you could see it. And you could see where the police came to arrest me later. Oh, that’s funny. Yeah. But when I slow down the footage, I show my clients exactly my process. And I walk them through it and I say, "You see what I’m doing here? This is why I’m doing A, because this is now going to give me belief because that day I was terrified. I was scared shitless. Are you kidding me? You’re going to get arrested." Not only are you going to get arrested, but am I going to be able to do this? Can I get hard in this environment? In front of all those people, huh? In front of all those people and then in front of the police. And there’s so much on the line. And it’s the same thing like when I did that at Rat Party for Shane’s World with a hundred frat kids that had to watch me do a show. It was the same process. And it’s something I talk about at length, which I call the hint of blood phenomenon, which is if you ever watched The World’s Strongest Man. Yeah, I’ve seen it. You know, where they’re pulling the trucks or the airplane. As an analogy, let’s just think of that as your penis. And so if you ever watched The World’s Strongest Man, the guy, you know, he straps that semi truck to his back and he starts pulling. And it’s like at the beginning, it’s like these little baby steps, right? He’s just trying to get some momentum. He’s just trying to get the thing moving. And then you start to watch and as he starts to get momentum, now he’s walking with this truck. And then by the end, he’s almost in a semi sprint because he’s got that momentum behind him. He’s got the inertia. It’s moving. Well, your penis is kind of the same way. The hardest thing that we need to get is that first 10%, 15% of blood flow because going from zero to 10 is tough. Going from 20 to 100 is relatively easy. So our focus becomes, okay, we just need to get a hint of blood into this thing. And we’ll do it ourselves because of the psychological impact. Because when you’re there in a really tense situation, if you can just get 10% of blood flow in there, what happens? Now your brain relaxes. Now suddenly, if we’re looking at it from a psychological perspective, you go, "Oh my God, thank God, my dick works." Well, just you having that thought, everything is available to you. Because before all the thoughts was, "Oh, I can’t. It’s not possible. I hope." It’s all this negative thinking. And that can cascade really quick, right? Because as soon as you start thinking, "Well, I can’t." Then if it doesn’t happen right away, now you’ve just confirmed your thought. "Oh, here’s proof." And I’ve always said, when we’re talking about performance, you can’t kumbaya your way out of it. There’s no, "I’m just going to pray and hope that I get an erection and it’s going to be there." Man’s brain doesn’t work that way. So we need some kind of verifiable proof. And that’s where that 10% of blood flow, that hint of blood phenomenon, we just get that 10% in there. And now get it to move a little bit. It doesn’t need to move a lot, just a little bit so that we can say, "Okay, it works." And from there, now we can start building on that. Because you get a little bit of blood flow, it gets more blood flow, and it becomes like, "Okay, my dick works too. Oh, man. Maybe I can do this too. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can do this too. Oh, my God. I got a hard on in the town square and I don’t give a shit about the police. You can see where the mental process went for me." And that’s what I teach my guys because it’s very real and it’s very tangible and it’s a process that you can do that will work. Yeah, that makes sense. What makes you a better coach than your competitors? Really it’s the level of experience. Most of the people out there that are coaching men, they talk a good game on YouTube. They get all, "Ooh, this is the new masculinity or I can do all these amazing things." It’s like, "Where’s your proof?" Most of them, they’ve read 10,000 textbooks on how you’re going to do ABC. I spent 10,000 hours on my back. When I talk about these processes that I teach men, everybody’s always like, "I’ve never heard of that before." And I said, "Yeah, this is not in a book." Except my book. Yeah, these are my original thoughts. And this is my original process. When people look back at my career and say, "Wow, how was he so good?" This is why. Because I put a lot of time into thinking, "How can I get better? What needs to change?" And you’re working in real time to understand these things. You’re on set and, "Hey, the sun is going down and you’ve got the director yelling at you and you’ve got the girl and you’ve got five minutes before the light’s going to leave and you need to produce a come shot." Well, that puts you up against the wall with pressure. And either you learn, "How can I deal with this pressure and how can I focus and what needs to happen with my body to make this happen?" Or you don’t. Yeah, everything that I teach men is proven. I’ve used it and it works. And so there’s a practical and actionable concept behind everything that I teach men. Everything really works and works in the real world rather than what most people regurgitate. I mean, a lot of coaches I see there, it almost looks like they asked to chat GPT how to coach. Yeah. A lot of that going on these days now, isn’t there? You should do XYZ in this. And I said, "Okay, great. You have a sexology degree. How many people have you slept with?" Not 5,000. Not 5,000. Talk me through how you coach men to be better lovers from A to Z. Well, the first part is I go into their mindset. Mindset I think is the most important because I need to see what are the chinks in the armor? What is your thought process? Because there’s a lot of different things that people don’t realize when it comes to being "master in bed." And a lot of it is not just understanding women, but it’s understanding yourself. And then it’s understanding strategy. For an example, when I teach guys how to last longer in the bedroom, one of the things in a big overarching principle and concept that I talk about is this magical five-minute marker. Now what is the five-minute marker? This was something that I saw time and time again throughout my entire career, meaning that what I noticed, because remember, I was on set with all the greats. I’ve stood toe-to-toe with every guy out there, so you start to see commonalities and you start to see patterns in how men’s bodies work. And there’s not an actor alive that I didn’t see at some point would be hypersensitive or they would struggle to last long enough in the beginning of a scene. We’ve all had those days where we were like, "Woo, super sensitive today." And what I noticed with my own body and everybody else too was they could be super sensitive and they might struggle in the beginning if they could make it to five minutes. Now they would get agency and their body would desensitize. And I noticed this time and time again and I said, "Okay, this is a real phenomenon. It made sense." If you were to take your finger and if you were to rub it gently on your hand right now, it’s going to feel really good. You start rubbing, rubbing, rubbing, nonstop, nonstop, nonstop, right? Your hand goes numb. Well, this is the same process with your penis. So what we need is we need enough stimulation to get your body to start to desensitize and you need to get that stimulation without having the ejaculation. So this is why rather than saying, because most guys are like, "Oh, I need to last a half hour. I need to last 40 minutes." No, no, no. Hold on there, buddy. You need to last five because the problem is that 0.2 seconds of penetration until that first five minutes. So we step back and we say, "Okay, we need to get you to that five minutes. How are we going to do it?" Well, part of that now involves strategy because what I’ve noticed when I coach most guys is they all go into the best feeling position as the first position. I said, "Well, how’s that working for you?" So you are struggling with premature ejaculation, but you’re going to pick the best feeling position, the one that is the hardest for you to possibly last in as the first position. And I said to them, I said, "Look. If I gave you the big three, like let’s just say I gave you the big three positions. Actually, I gave you the big three plus one. So it’s like Monday. I have you do a missionary. Tuesday, I have you do cowgirl. Wednesday, I have you do doggie. Thursday, I have you do spoon. And if I had a timer and a stopwatch and I said, "Go, start fucking," we took those metrics, we took that data. One of those positions you’re going to be able to last massively longer than the others. Now what would we want to do then? Probably we’d want to start in that position, wouldn’t we? So this is the kind of high level thinking that I guys through. It’s like, okay, well, we need to understand first where you’re at mentally. You need to understand how you can separate your erection into the two pathways so that you can say, okay, when am I tapping into the psychological erection? When am I tapping into the physical erection? And then we start to say, okay, well, now that you’ve got that, how are we going to teach you how women’s bodies work so that when you go into the interaction, you’re effective? Because that’s a big problem is, is it’s not that guys don’t have the desire, it’s that they just don’t have the right information. Teach you exactly how women’s bodies work, exactly the techniques that need to be applied and the overarching principles. Because I always say, you know, the principles of how to get women off are always the same. It’s the application of those principles that will differ. Makes sense. You talked about all the grades that you worked with. How do you think the male performers are better in 2023 or worse in what’s changed? The biggest thing that has changed, and I will say they are much worse, is the drug use. It’s the reliance on pharmaceutical industrial complex. And here’s what I’ve really noticed because we can say, well, you know, this is something that’s within the adult industry or has really taken over the adult industry. But it’s not. It’s something that’s affecting men at large because I can’t tell you the times when I’ve been on set, you know, and I’m 47, right? And you’ll have these 23 year old men, first thing that they go to, they get a needle. I’m like, what are you doing? Here’s the thing. They can’t believe I could do it without. And what I’ve realized is we’ve hit this point that I call the reverse four minute mile. Because if you go back in time, remember, you remember the four minute mile? It was epic, right? Roger Bannister. So there was this idea, nobody could run a mile in four minutes, right? Once he did it though, I think it was like two or three weeks later, somebody else did it. And then it was like, okay. And why? Belief. All belief. And now you’ve got a situation where no guy out there believes you could get a hard on without taking Viagra or injecting your dick. And this is not just in the business. I’ve talked to multiple male coaches that just work with men. They tell me all about how the Viagra use among 20 year olds is like an epidemic because, you know, they got a big date and oh, I better have my Viagra because I need to get it up. You’re 25. I mean, I might go on 47. I still wake up with a hard on. When I was 25, my biggest problem was getting it back down. Exactly. So what has changed Bruce? What has changed? Belief it’s all belief because you’re 25. You should be able to fuck the wall. Okay. With a smile on your face. And if you can’t, it’s not that you don’t have the ability. It’s that something fundamentally in your belief structure has now been broken by society by the world at large. And that’s what I really want to help fix because there is no reason that you should feel that you need these dangerous drugs that are meant for a 60 year old. Yeah. Hey, hey, I’m 66. Not yet. Yeah. But you see what I’m saying, right? Like here you are. It’s like, you don’t need it. Why would a 20 year old man need it? I experimented with it. I found that every time there was a breeze, my dick would get hard and I didn’t need that. So I was just like, God, hell with it. You mentioned bio hacks and metal hacks you used with your own body as a porn actor. So tell me what some of these are and how you pass them along to your students. Well for example, like one of the dirty bio hacks that was actually taught to me by an old veteran guy was prevention of testicles rising. It’s a unique little sort of bio hack that you can use to last longer in the bedroom because if you start to pay attention and this is really where it comes down to understanding your own body and understanding processes. When you really start to look at your body, you can see, well first of all how similar female bodies and your own bodies are, but you can start to see, well, okay, what needs to happen so that I can last longer. And if you pay attention, you can do this next time you ejaculate Bruce, you’ll notice right at the moment of ejaculation, your balls have to come almost up inside your body. They contract heavily. And what I learned was, okay, well if you can pull them down from your body, you can circumvent the need to ejaculate. You can give yourself another, again, another minute when we’re talking about the five minute marker, we’re building up time to get to that five minutes. We’re just trying to get to that desensitization point. And so that is a great tactic to use with some slight of hand maneuvering, right? Because you might be having sex and you’re feeling the urge to come. What I would do is I would slightly go out, go down. I’m going down on her. So that I’m using the pussy eating as a slight of hand maneuver. I’m distracting her from what’s going on. I’m reaching around and now I’m pulling down my testicles. She doesn’t see it. Her eyes are in the back of her head. I’m now giving myself more time on the clock. Now I can go right up from that. So her stimulation has never abated. So when we’re looking at, especially when we start to look at this, quote unquote, gap, and I don’t believe these numbers, but they’re the numbers that the medical people throw out there where they say, well, the average guy takes 5.4 minutes to orgasm and the average woman takes 13.7. So if we take their numbers at face value, well, that’s the seven minute gap we need to close. So if we’re going to be closing it, well, we need to maximally stimulate her and we need to minimally stimulate ourselves, which also means we got to keep that stimulation going at all times. That’s why when we’re doing these slight of hand maneuvers, we’ll use pussy eating as a distraction mechanism. So we’re doing two things. We’re distracting her from what we’re doing to ourselves to keep ourselves able to last longer. And we’re still moving her towards the goal of her orgasm. So we’re closing that gap. Okay. What did you learn from your time as a porn actor that helps you with your new profession? Well, you know, what I learned was how the body works, especially in those moments of stress. Most guys, if they were to be confronted with a problem in the bedroom, they’ll either let it go or they won’t care or the stakes are not high enough to come up with a solution. If they were to fail in the bedroom, well, you know, they’re really upset about it, but it’s only the girl and them that know you fail on a porn set. I mean, my God, you got 20 people there. You got cameras. It’s immortalized in tape forever. It’s your profession too. Everybody is going to be upset because they’re not getting paid or everybody’s paycheck is getting cut in half because now the company doesn’t want to pay because they don’t have any footage. The pressure in the stakes is massive, which because the pressure is so massive, you know, you’re going to either crumble under that weight or that pressure or you’re going to come up with an innovative solution so that you can perform. And so when I look at all the things that I learned about my own body and ways to biohack it and also ways to understand women, you know, I’m now a massive proponent of the idea that communication does not matter. Not that it doesn’t matter at all, but generally speaking, in terms of sex, it doesn’t matter because when you think about communication at large, right, you look at any psychological textbook, I think they say 93% of communication is nonverbal. And what I learned, especially when we go into the primary cues of female orgasm, when you understand what the clit is telling you, you can read it like Braille. So I don’t need to ask you what you like. I can feel it. And that’s why it becomes so easy to get some women off because it’s like the Yellowbrook Road, you know, leading to the Wizard of Oz. I mean, so I will always tell guys, I said, look, audible moans are a secondary cue at best. And when I rank the different cues that I pay attention to, audible moans are third. Really? And what’s first and second? Clitoral engagement, tension. Interesting. And when you understand how to feel that and how to read it, these are things that can’t be fake. The clitoral engagement is there or it’s not. Is rising or it’s setting. And just like a man, right? Like if you were to say, well, that man’s aroused, well, he’ll have an erection. Well, so will the woman. It’s the same tissue. And guys don’t understand this fundamental reality. And when you do, getting women off becomes, I mean, it becomes so easy. The only reason it’s hard is because you don’t know what you’re supposed to pay attention to. And those guys are going down and they’re lost and they don’t know what to do. So they’re just kind of trying stuff. Well, that’s not going to work. So when I’m teaching guys, you know, when I go into my cross-tea technique and when I go into the different principles on how to get women off. I think Sam Kinnison did a bit on that. Did you ever hear that? No. Oh God, you got to listen to it. Doing the alphabet when he was eating a girl out was pretty funny. Oh God, that’s the worst thing ever. I make jokes about that. I said, you know, these people doing this alphabet stuff, this is asinine behavior. It’s like it doesn’t work. Well, they were Sam fans. Well, no, because one of the things that I teach my clients is let’s look at vibrators. Universally loved by every woman. No one out there doesn’t like it. But why? Why do they love vibrators? And we have to look at them and we have to understand, well, what are the principles of vibrators? And there’s three things. And this is what we again take into our repertoire as men into the bedroom. Number one, vibrator, it stays on the clit. There’s no woman that is taking her Hitachi and doing it on some fucking side walls or doing that. I mean, again, this is this goes back to the stupid things that guys will do that are ineffective. They chew on some pussy lips. They tongue fuck the whole. No girl’s doing that. That thing is stapled to the clit. It’s not moving. So that’s principle number one. Number two, what do we know about vibrators? They are rhythmic and consistent in their power and application of power. She sets it on a setting and forgets it. Same setting. It’s constant. It’s rhythmic and she’s going to set that power, but then it’s not changing, which means once you find out what is going to get the clitoral engagement, you’re staying at that rhythm, that pace, that cadence, that power, that pressure, you’re not deviating. And then lastly, what’s the wonderful thing about vibrators? They never fucking stop ever. Tell the batteries run out. Yeah. Yeah. They are the terminator, which means because when you understand how orgasms created, it’s like a wave coming from the ocean. You’re building this up this wave and it’s coming, it’s coming, it’s coming. And then you’re going to have it crash on the shore and she’s going to be in a puddle of juices. Right? It’s fundamentally, you know, that feeling comes in. It’s the same thing for men. We get that feeling and we can feel it building, building, building, building, building, right? Well, I use this as an example because it’s something men can understand. Imagine that your girlfriend is giving you a blow job and she’s doing it and it feels great and you’re like, oh my God, this is the best thing ever. And then all of a sudden she’s like, she goes down and she decides she’s going to suck on your navel and she’s going to come up and she’s going to play with your nipples a little bit. And then finally she goes back down and starts sucking again, but then she goes and she decides she wants to suck on your balls and then she’s back to your navel. What are you going to be? Frustrated. So why are men doing this asinine behavior? No, you cannot stop, right? And that means on every level because we’ve even experienced as men, you give me that blow job. She’s got the hand in the right position. She’s doing everything. And then what she do, she stops and wipes her nose. Well, you just went from I’m about to have a come shot to nothing. And then when she starts up, probably the hand’s in the wrong place. It’s not lined up like it was before and now it’s like, oh, horrible. So this is why as a man, you can’t stop. Hey, tongue is bleeding. Suck it up. Jaw is sore. Suck it up. You know, you need to blow your nose. Suck it up. You cannot stop. Cunter is between your teeth. Suck it up. Yeah. Suck it up because the vibrator doesn’t stop. It doesn’t sit there and say, oh, well, I need to drink a water right now. No, vibrator keeps going. And guess what? Two minutes. She’s gotten off like it doesn’t take long. It does not. You do it right. What do you find most men are struggling with when they come to see you? And how do you fix it? Well, usually you’ve got three major buckets, at least what I’ve seen. Guys either struggling to last long enough in the bedroom. That’s number one. Or they’re struggling with some sort of performance anxiety. Or they’re struggling with a combination of inability to be effective in the bedroom. Because they don’t really know the house and what’s to get her off effectively. And they don’t know how to lead in the bedroom. And bedroom leadership is very much a key piece too. Contrary to what the movies will tell us, there’s very little basic instinct going on in most homes. It’s not like some girl is tying you up by her hands and forcibly having sex with you. So many guys have it wrong because they expect the woman to initiate. And most feminine women won’t. Even if they like sex, they’re going to wait for you to put a move. So you just have to understand this is the burden of man. Because so many guys that I will coach, they might complain about a lack of sex. And it’s not that the girl doesn’t want the sex. Or it’s usually a combination of things. It’s either they are not initiating because they think it should be equal. Or they have not been effective enough to make it a worthwhile bargain for her. We got to look at it from that perspective. If sex is really good and we’re having orgasms, it becomes addictive. But if we’re not getting those things and we’re not getting off, now why would we be interested? It’s like, well, she’ll do it a couple times maybe. But if you’re not able to deliver the goods, at some point she’s thinking, well, this is a waste of time. Like, why would I want to do this? He lasts 30 seconds and then he rolls over. Unless she really feels it’s her duty. But again, do you want a girl that’s having sex with you because it’s the duty? Or do you want her having sex with you because she’s like, man, you are the best fucker I’ve ever met. It’s a different experience, right? How do most men end up working with you? Well, there’s a couple different ways. On one aspect, I have the Everhard Academy, which they can find at www.everhardacademy.com. That is my almost university platform with over 120 video modules, lecture and not-safe-for-work material. I’m going to take guys through all the different processes that are available to them from how to master the mindset, how to master pus eating, how to master female arousal, how to master anal sex, even up to sexual health and condom choice, right? In addition to that, we do a live call. So there’s live coaching once a week where I coach the whole group and I take them through different trainings as well. So that’s one aspect. And then the other is my sexual mastery system, which is a six month program where I work with guys on a specific one-to-one basis. And then I come up with a bespoke training plan for them and I’ll take them through whatever it is that they are personally dealing with and sort of handhold them through the process of what they are doing that needs to be corrected. Because a lot of the times, there may be just a few tips and techniques that you need. For example, I had one client from New Jersey, a great guy, and he had struggled to give his wife an orgasm through penetration. They had been married 15 years and he had never been able to do it. And we got on a call and I broke down his technique and he told me what he’s doing. And I immediately was like, "Oh, it’s just your technique’s off." And I said, "Here’s what you need to do." And so he took that information, he went back, you know, because it’s his wife, right? So he could practice right away. And then the next day I get a text, he goes, "Motherfucker," he goes, "Five minutes." 15 years, he hadn’t been able to do it. After the call, five minutes later, boom. It’s a surprise they were still together after all that. My God, that must have not been a real important part of the relationship to her. He was able to get her off with his hands. So he was able to give her orgasm, but just not through the actual sex part. It was just because the positions were not maximizing clitoral contact. And when I told him exactly how these positions need to be tweaked, you know, it was like, "Oh, now this is easy." But Bruce, it’s one of those things. Like we don’t know what we don’t know. If you’ve been in a relationship for 15 years and you just don’t have access to the information because who’s going to tell you you’re doing something wrong? You just know this isn’t working. By the way, you need to watch that Sam Kinnison a bit because he basically says that in a comedic way. I’ll try to find it and send you the link. He was quite a comedian. I saw the guy live for like, you know, like seven, eight times before he passed away and he was, it was amazing. Well, hey, Eric, I’d like to thank you for being our guest today on Adult Site Broker Talk and I hope we’ll get a chance to do this again soon. Yeah, thank you very much, Bruce. It was great. It was awesome. My broker tip today is part four of how to buy a site. Last week we discussed making an offer and deciding the best price for the site you’re buying. Once you’ve made your offer, the work begins. If you’re working with a broker like say, oh, I don’t know, maybe Adult Site Broker, we handle the negotiation for you. Let’s say the seller doesn’t accept your offer. They may make a counter offer. If you decide that you’re willing to pay more, you can either accept their counter offer or counter back to them. A good rule of thumb is to always leave room to negotiate. So don’t make an offer that’s the absolute most you’re willing to pay. If you do that, then you have nowhere to go if the owner counters your offer. Once the owner and you have come to a deal, then it’s time to do some due diligence beyond what it is you’ve already done. During the initial process of looking at the site, you should have asked some questions, like in the case of a pay site, how many joins and rebuilds there are per day, and any other pertinent questions. During due diligence, you need to make sure everything is where you need it to be technically to integrate it with what you’re already doing. You may even get your developer involved if you’re not tech savvy. You and or your developer should ask these pertinent questions. Once those are answered to your satisfaction, you should either have the seller or yourself draw up a sales agreement. I always tell my clients to do the agreement. Why? Because that way you can dictate the terms. So whether you’re the buyer or the seller, you can make the rules. But just get ready to have the seller’s attorney change some of those rules. Nothing is final until everything is signed off on. Another thing we do for our clients is a letter of intent prior to the sales agreement being done. This gives your attorney a roadmap for the agreement. The letter of intent and more so the agreement will have all the terms involved, including who pays for everything, who pays for escrow, for instance. This can be paid by the buyer, the seller, or split between both parties. We’ll talk about this subject more next week. And next week we’ll be speaking with Blair Hopkins of Swop Behind Bars. And that’s it for this week’s Adult Site Broker Talk. I’d once again like to thank my guest, Erik Everhard. Talk to you again next week on Adult Site Broker Talk. I’m Bruce Friedman. [MUSIC] [BLANK_AUDIO]